Telephone no 01243 942666 email: barbara.hann@hushmail.com
Your Person Pack
Ajahn Succitto, a Buddhist monk and teacher, referred in one of his teachings to the “Person Pack”.
This is the baggage we all hump around with us, made up of our genes, experiences, beliefs, feelings, preferences and so on.
Relationship Patterns
‘The first relationships we witness as children set the foundation for how we view love throughout life.” The Holistic Psychologist
So many of us grew up believing that love and relationship meant scorn, punishment, manipulation, control, enabling. The examples we had in front of us were often a sort of push and pull, a dance between people who appeared to be adults, yet behaved in puzzling ways. Examples not only in our families, but in films and on TV.
Resentment
"Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies" Nelson Mandela
The above quote is, I think, pretty well known. Dr Gabor Mate describes resentment as poison to the soul. In my last blog I wrote about guilt, and how it can be useful.
If you accept the idea that all feelings have a purpose, you will know that its can sometimes be hard to see that purpose, especially if the feeling is so unpleasant.
Drama triangle- the Victim shifts.
My clients will probably become aware of the Drama Triangle (Stephen Karpman 1968) as a way of describing unhealthy interactions. There are some useful YouTube videos that illustrate this. https://youtu.be/y5fyKWaTXco
Once you learn about how it operates, and the different positions people adopt to keep the drama going, you will begin to see it in SO many situations. The roles can be obvious, or they can be quite subtle, so that you find yourself pulled into the game before you realise it.
Guilt
I have always believed that feelings are messengers we need to pay attention to, even if they are unpleasant. Sometimes, for reasons I will look at briefly in a minute, they become overwhelming and harmful, but very often we just try to shove them away if they make us uncomfortable.
After all, being happy is what it's all about, right? So, all we need to do is think positively, be nice, make gratitude lists, and believe that life is all sweetness and giggles. Said no-one.
