What really matters to you?
A common thread for women with codependency issues is not being able to work out what they really want, let alone being able to ask for it.
We are so used to operating from the habits of our egos- formed in our childhood and modelled on (or against) what we witnessed- that we often find it hard to know what is important to us. Our parents told us, for example, that, in order to be safe and loved, we had to work out what made others happy:so we think that we are responsible for other peoples' happiness. We might then believe that "niceness" is one of our core values.
Scratch below the surface, and we discover that being nice has caused us no end of problems. You all know what I mean, I'm sure.
Richard Grannon has a very good exercise for working out what your core values are.
Your core values provide a compass to help you work out your direction.