The Inner Child
Inner Child work can be one of the most profound and healing practices in counselling. Here we all are, walking about in our Grownup bodies, imagining that the people we encounter are the real Grownups, and we are the frauds. Or, we believe the stories our rational minds tell us about US being Grownups. After all, we may have jobs, our own children, all the things we were told came with the territory of being Grownup.
So, how is it that we often don't FEEL Grownup?
It's because we all carry inside us our Inner Child, and unless we can connect with her, she is apt to sideswipe and sabotage us.
Why are you repeatedly drawn to relationships that can never make you happy? Why do you react so violently and emotionally to some behaviours from others? Why do you do things you know are harmful to yourself?
Your Inner Child is asking to be heard and understood. The experiences, wounding, the losses, and what we lacked as children have a powerful effect on us as adults. It affects how we feel about ourselves, how we form relationships, and how we interact with others.
Suppose your partner criticises something you do. The criticism may be valid, or it may be unfair. Your adult self would weigh it up and respond with an acknowledgement, or a refusal to fully accept the other's opinion. The matter could be resolved and you move on. No big deal.
Your Inner Child, however, is flooded with fear of rejection, feelings of inadequacy, and she panics- going back to the fact that your mother was always slightly undermining. Nothing was ever quite good enough for her. You always had to WORK for her approval.
Inner Child work is about acknowledging those feelings, understanding them, and learning to heal.